1 number of times i shampoo my hair in a week

2 number of how many balls i have

3 my 2nd lucky number

4 i fucking hate this number

5 how long i snooze for in the morning

6 for dicks?

7 add an 11 & we have a party

8 add another o and you get a snowman

9 …

10 what i am. a dime piece. PUAHA!

“love of god” didn’t prevent that 16 year old russian girl from getting killed and chopped up only to be served with potatoes. or how about chelsea king?

im sorry but all my life i’ve been catholic and only now have seriously questioned the existence of God. you can say i got smart or i realized the sick world we live in. college has only made it worse.

college should be renamed, “Let’s see if you believe in God after you graduate.”

im sorry to all my religious friends. please dont look at me differently. my character will always be the same no matter what i believe in.

a professor and student’s conversation at the University of California 1987.

professor: so what do you plan on doing after graduation?

student: most likely opening up a law firm with my brother.

professor: let me ask you something. if you could become anything WITHOUT failure, what would you then become?

student: hmmmm..thats a tough one.

the student thought for a minute.

student: i’d want to become the person who helped solve poverty around the world.

professor: then what’s stopping you now?

LESSON.

not very fun to read when we dont know what the hell you’re talking about.

anal sex? starting a hotdog stand? shaving your pubes? becoming straight again?

superbread:

After long thought and contemplation, I’ve finally decided that I’ll do it. Perhaps I’m not as prepared as I’d like to be, but in the wise words of good ol’ Optimus,” Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of out choosing.” So whether or not I’m ready, the opportunity is awry, and I must step up… ITS MORPHIN’ TIME!